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My Anti-blog
Friday, November 11, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
For they are a rebellious nation.
Ezekiel's Call - take 2.
I love this chapter. God just lays it out there to Ezekiel. First filling him with the spirit, raising him to his feet then speaking to Ezek clear as day, telling him The Plan. He is to go to the Israelites, to a rebellious nation and speak Gods words. God warns him that they may or may not listen, either way it does not alter The Plan. The Lord gives words of confidence and encouragement then gives him the scroll to eat.
I love this chapter. God just lays it out there to Ezekiel. First filling him with the spirit, raising him to his feet then speaking to Ezek clear as day, telling him The Plan. He is to go to the Israelites, to a rebellious nation and speak Gods words. God warns him that they may or may not listen, either way it does not alter The Plan. The Lord gives words of confidence and encouragement then gives him the scroll to eat.
God's word is as sweet as honey. I know, I've tasted it!! The scroll we carry with us to church on Sunday, a mini version for our purse, and electronic version on our iPhone, it's all as sweet as honey. We bite it, chew it, eat it and digest it and it becomes part of who we are. I look at my Bible and see JOY, LOVE and PEACE. FORGIVENESS and COMFORT. I sometimes tend to skip over the unpleasant stuff that Ezek saw written on both sides of the scroll: words of lament, mourning and woe. The Psalms are a perfect example of this
- Psalm 79
O God, the nations have invaded your inheritance;
they have defiled your holy temple,
they have reduced Jerusalem to rubble.
They have given the dead bodies of your servants
as foot to the birds of the air,
the flesh of your saints to the beasts of the earth.
They have poured out blood like water
all around Jerusalem,
and there is no one to bury the dead.
We are objects of reproach to our neighbors,
of scrorn and derision to those around us.
Words of lament, mourning and woe at it's finest. It's much easier for me to sing praise to his goodness, the joy of knowing him, the glory to His Name than it is to feel the anguish of desperation in the psalmist. But this helps me remember why God does what He does, did what he did and will do what he will do. He is a jealous God, and we are a rebellious nation.
He provides to me the same resources as he did for Ezek, the scroll, the Word. Praise God He doesn't send me out into the world asking me to give my opinion or debate religion (for lack of a better word) or boast in my knowledge of things Biblical. He says in 2:4 "say to them 'this is what the Sovereign Lord says.'...Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns are all around you and you live among scorpions. Do not be afraid of why they say...you must speak my words to them". I LOVE THIS!! God knows what and who I am faced with every day, yet his desire for me it to stand strong in his Word (only) and speak it in confidence. And all of the Word - the good stuff and the unpleasant stuff.
Mental note: check yourself in all faith based discussions. Is this Biblical? No? Then stop talking!
Flip side. Honest inventory. Am I the rebellious house? When it's hard to hear, difficult to walk through do I fail to hear/listen/receive the truth?
Father God, I thank you for the scroll. I thank you for giving me your Holy Word and ask that you continue to give me revelations, understanding and knowledge of YOU through it. Father, search my heart and the things unseen by me that hinder me from reaching out to take the scroll from your hand every time. Lord, I desire to follow you. To seek you. To be close to you. Help me not to be that rebellious nation, that stubborn and obstinate child who turns from you. Reveal to me your Majesty, your holiness, your awesomeness so that I may learn to fear your and give you the reverence you command. Father, give me the words you wish me to speak and the boldness to speak them. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
a new covenanat
a new covenant.
I took communion at 1 am this morning. I made a new covenant with Jesus that I would stop trying to replace Him and and His love with things of this world.
I took communion at 1 am this morning. I made a new covenant with Jesus that I would stop trying to replace Him and and His love with things of this world.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
The Lord God Almighty in blue jeans
Why is the Lord depicted as a Caucasian man with long white hair in flowing robes. The likeness of the glory of the lord is a man that glow like fire with radiance of a rainbow all around him. I like how we change our mental image of God to make him more likable, friendly and easy to look at. Same goes with Jesus. He was a Jewish carpenter not a blue eyed blonde haired Californian. The Lord God Almighty is to be feared with reverence and awe. We have lost that along the way trying to make him our BFF.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Alter Junkie
Still no idea why the wheels are not attached to the four living creatures. What is purpose of having the spirit not physically connected to the being? Sigh. IDK. But I do know that the rims were full of eyes, seeing in every direction. There is not a crack or crevice, shadow or hidden place that God's eyes do not see. Including my heart. "Search me, Oh God, and know my heart; see if there is any offensive way in me". He knows better than I. Word.
Ezekiel 2 - His calling
Ezek fell face down when he heard the voice of the Lord speaking to him. How could he not - after witnessing the scene of the four living creatures bringing in this great expanse and man who glowed like metal and fire with brilliant light all around him. It was the Lord God Almighty in his midst, speaking to HIM! How small and insignificant he must have felt. How dirty he must have felt in the presence of God's radiance. It took the Spirit entering him to raise him from his humbled state.
"This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. When I saw it, I fell facedown and I heard the voice of the one speaking. 'Son of man, stand up on our feet and I will speak to you.' As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet" Ez 1:28-2:2
I have been in worship before - in spirit and truth - and have had a pull to the alter so intense that it felt like my knees were going to buckle and I would have to crawl to it. Sometimes all I can do is slide off my seat to the floor to go to Him. That feeling of realizing his Holy presence is HERE, NOW and needing to confess and be cleansed is overwhelming. Scary, beautiful, powerful, physical, emotional and spiritual cleansing takes place in my soul when I get to that secret place with him. Do you know what my Jesus does while I'm breaking at the alter? Quietly and peacefully sits across from me at the alter, receiving my confession, catching everyone of my tears and gently forgiving me along the way. He never condemns me, says "I told you so" or tells me I'm a broken record. He nudges me and encourages me on when I'm stubbornly holding onto something that needs to be layed at his feet. He holds me and his robes wrap around me. I've felt them against my skin - it's the reward of being sweetly broken.
It's only after allowing him to do His work in me am I able to stand.
Thank you, Jesus, for raising me to my feet. Again and again.
Ezekiel 2 - His calling
Ezek fell face down when he heard the voice of the Lord speaking to him. How could he not - after witnessing the scene of the four living creatures bringing in this great expanse and man who glowed like metal and fire with brilliant light all around him. It was the Lord God Almighty in his midst, speaking to HIM! How small and insignificant he must have felt. How dirty he must have felt in the presence of God's radiance. It took the Spirit entering him to raise him from his humbled state.
"This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. When I saw it, I fell facedown and I heard the voice of the one speaking. 'Son of man, stand up on our feet and I will speak to you.' As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet" Ez 1:28-2:2
I have been in worship before - in spirit and truth - and have had a pull to the alter so intense that it felt like my knees were going to buckle and I would have to crawl to it. Sometimes all I can do is slide off my seat to the floor to go to Him. That feeling of realizing his Holy presence is HERE, NOW and needing to confess and be cleansed is overwhelming. Scary, beautiful, powerful, physical, emotional and spiritual cleansing takes place in my soul when I get to that secret place with him. Do you know what my Jesus does while I'm breaking at the alter? Quietly and peacefully sits across from me at the alter, receiving my confession, catching everyone of my tears and gently forgiving me along the way. He never condemns me, says "I told you so" or tells me I'm a broken record. He nudges me and encourages me on when I'm stubbornly holding onto something that needs to be layed at his feet. He holds me and his robes wrap around me. I've felt them against my skin - it's the reward of being sweetly broken.
It's only after allowing him to do His work in me am I able to stand.
Thank you, Jesus, for raising me to my feet. Again and again.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
The Book of Ezekiel
Ezekiel was among the exiles when the heavens opened and he saw visions of God. The word says "There the hand of the LORD was upon him" 1:3. God choose when and where he will use us for his Glory. Ezek was faithful to this call.
The Living Creatures - they didn't come in a soft breeze or a daydream to Ezek, they came with a demonstration of power - a storm; lightning with fire flashing forth; glowing metal. In my own life, I've become accustom the small, quiet demonstrations from God, and have even accepted the idea that a brilliant cloud with lighting isn't meant for little ol me, but only for the really spiritual people like Ezek. After all he was a priest, trained for this kind of stuff, right?
Wrong. He wasn't Jesus, thus he was a sinner by nature, just like me. God chose him for a b-i-g task, a calling and commission. And boy did God deliver.
Honestly, I don't really get the four living creatures. I Googled them. I read 3 different versions of these scriptures. Four faces? Four wings with human hands? Calf's hooves of burnished bronze? The Lord is not speaking to my spirit on any of that (today!!) but He has revealed to me is this:
The Living Creatures - they didn't come in a soft breeze or a daydream to Ezek, they came with a demonstration of power - a storm; lightning with fire flashing forth; glowing metal. In my own life, I've become accustom the small, quiet demonstrations from God, and have even accepted the idea that a brilliant cloud with lighting isn't meant for little ol me, but only for the really spiritual people like Ezek. After all he was a priest, trained for this kind of stuff, right?
Wrong. He wasn't Jesus, thus he was a sinner by nature, just like me. God chose him for a b-i-g task, a calling and commission. And boy did God deliver.
Honestly, I don't really get the four living creatures. I Googled them. I read 3 different versions of these scriptures. Four faces? Four wings with human hands? Calf's hooves of burnished bronze? The Lord is not speaking to my spirit on any of that (today!!) but He has revealed to me is this:
1:12-14 "Each one went straight ahead, without turning as they
went. The appearance of the living creatures was like burning coals of fire.
Fire moved back and forth among them...the creatures sped back and forth
like flashes of lightning."
went. The appearance of the living creatures was like burning coals of fire.
Fire moved back and forth among them...the creatures sped back and forth
like flashes of lightning."
The Glory of the Lord does not change. ever. The creature has no need to turn his face, or direction, because he is everywhere at every time, with a fuel that never dies. I envision the movement of these four creatures like the speed of light, or faster -- the speed of God which can not be measured. However, he stopped them long enough to give Ezek a snapshot to share with us, with me, 2500 years later.
Each creature had it's own wheel with "rims that were lofty and awesome, full of eyes all around" What really struck me about this, was that the four living creatures were not attached to these wheels. The Word says the creatures' spirit was in the wheels, so every movement the creature made, the wheels were right there with them. The Word says in 1:20 that the Spirit initiated the movement/direction and then creatures would follow. Our spirit NEVER leaves us and if we allow it, it will guide us. When we are moving forward, it moves forward with us. When we stand still, it does too. Wheels are meant to be in motion by their design. These creatures with their wheels that Ezekiel saw were used to bring the Glory of the LORD to him in a vision. They went everywhere and saw everything.
I can't help but think that God desires to use His Church in the very same way. We are spread out in every direction across this Earth, each one of us with the Spirit of God dwelling within us. We have been given spiritual eyes to see and if we desire to obtain it, and seek it out, a fire within our hearts to fuel us in all our days here.
We have just one purpose, as did the four living creatures.
To be used for the Glory of God.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
coinkydink
8/22/2011
Someone at work recently asked me if I blog. I said no. I journal my spiritual experiences, my thoughts and revelations on scriptures and even my prayers, but I do not blog. Blogging implies others will read your writings, and that scares me. I have selectively shown excerpts of my journal, but for the most part it is a scribbly mess of raw thoughts poured out from my heart to paper. Blogging needs to be grammatically correct with words spelt wright (bud dump cha) and organized in such a way that it doesn’t leave others scratching their head. I don’t think I’m cut out for that. But on the other hand, this girl can type, which means I may be able to capture more without the fatigue of my writing finger.
Ezekiel it is.
That’s what it’s going to be. Today God gave me the conformation I was asking for.
To some, it may just be a quirky coincidence. There was a time when I was amused or sometime puzzled by a coincidence but now I know there is no such thing. God has His hand in all situations all of the time and sometimes chooses to show us at seemly random times or places. “Everything happens for a reason” is such a common phrase to hear, but what it really means is “God happens in everything, and God is the reason”. If you know my God, you know what I am talking about.
The very first God Moment I remember having - when I realized it was Him and not random events in the universe - was years ago when I was commuting to the Bay Area from Tracy. I had recently said the sinners prayer and accepted Jesus into my life, although I was soon to fall away (another blog I guess). As part of my daily drive, I was very aware of motorcycles cutting lanes to get through the traffic. I thought to myself that I’ve never noticed any Christian MC’s and wondered if there were any. Not 2 minutes later a rumbling Harley rolled past. I watched him approach from my rearview mirror, coming up between the lanes, next to my big red Suburban and right on past me. Sho ‘nuff, he had a large yellow cross patch on the back of his leather jacket. I was stunned.
At that very moment I realized that God sent that biker on past me to show me who He was, and that He was in control. As the day went on, I started to doubt what had happened, chalking it up to good ‘ol coincidence. I hadn’t shared it with anyone, I didn’t want to look like a *gasp* Jesus Freak. On the way home that night I challenged God. “If that Christian biker was from you, then prove it.” Must I even finish the story? A few minutes past and I see a biker approaching from way far away in my side mirror. He gets closer, and I see it’s not the same bike and I laughed thinking I almost fell for it. My laugh was silenced and my jaw dropped when he got past me. Another Christian biker God sent rumbling by me to prove His point. Four years I had been doing this commute, and never had I notice a Christian MC patch, nor did I see another one for a long long time after.
So now when God chooses to open my eyes through situations He orchestrates, or bless me with a reminder of who He is, I listen. I find such joy in receiving even the smallest touches from Him, gentle nudges to keep me awake in the spiritual world, and am still very amused by Gods sense of humor.
A month ago I started in Ezekiel. God gave me some awesome nuggets and revelations in the first few chapters. Ezeks visions of the Holiness of God - being given the scroll to eat and the commission to preach a hard and condemning word to an unruly people - false prophets being equated to flimsy whitewashed walls that crumb with a storm. I veered off to Nehemiah for a bit, dabbled in the Gosples, swam around in Acts, sang in the Psalms, dove into James on Sunday mornings and found myself over the last few days with absolutely no direction in the Word of God. I find this so frustrating and confusing because His Word comes ALIVE for me, the letters and words sometimes dance off the page, and into my soul, feeding it. I can spend hours or days on a single scripture, chewing and digesting it, journaling and praying it, each time reading it and finding something new. So when I “can’t find a thing to read” in the Bible, I’m lost.
Last night I sat with my Bible on my lap, praying for guidance and God to show me where he wants me in the Word. Today I gave this to a friend as a prayer request. Out school shopping with my kids today, I confided in them that I was needing direction from God on what to read in the Bible. Inside the store, I pick a shirt off the rack and look at the tag. It said one thing. “ezekiel”. I just about cried and praised God for hearing my plea, recognizing my feeling of being lost in scripture and answering my prayer so very quickly.
I am giddy with excitement and anticipation on how my loving Father is going to grow me through this book of Ezekiel. I’m almost afraid to start it again, knowing that I will be wearing Ezeks shoes and walking his steps and I fear I will not be able to handle the Glory of the Lord revealed to me.
It is written in Eze 1:1 “…the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God.”
Father God, open the heavens through your precious Word and reveal to me your Glory. Let every word of these scriptures bury themselves into my heart and teach me how You want me to use them to glorify YOU. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.
Someone at work recently asked me if I blog. I said no. I journal my spiritual experiences, my thoughts and revelations on scriptures and even my prayers, but I do not blog. Blogging implies others will read your writings, and that scares me. I have selectively shown excerpts of my journal, but for the most part it is a scribbly mess of raw thoughts poured out from my heart to paper. Blogging needs to be grammatically correct with words spelt wright (bud dump cha) and organized in such a way that it doesn’t leave others scratching their head. I don’t think I’m cut out for that. But on the other hand, this girl can type, which means I may be able to capture more without the fatigue of my writing finger.
Ezekiel it is.
That’s what it’s going to be. Today God gave me the conformation I was asking for.
To some, it may just be a quirky coincidence. There was a time when I was amused or sometime puzzled by a coincidence but now I know there is no such thing. God has His hand in all situations all of the time and sometimes chooses to show us at seemly random times or places. “Everything happens for a reason” is such a common phrase to hear, but what it really means is “God happens in everything, and God is the reason”. If you know my God, you know what I am talking about.
The very first God Moment I remember having - when I realized it was Him and not random events in the universe - was years ago when I was commuting to the Bay Area from Tracy. I had recently said the sinners prayer and accepted Jesus into my life, although I was soon to fall away (another blog I guess). As part of my daily drive, I was very aware of motorcycles cutting lanes to get through the traffic. I thought to myself that I’ve never noticed any Christian MC’s and wondered if there were any. Not 2 minutes later a rumbling Harley rolled past. I watched him approach from my rearview mirror, coming up between the lanes, next to my big red Suburban and right on past me. Sho ‘nuff, he had a large yellow cross patch on the back of his leather jacket. I was stunned.
At that very moment I realized that God sent that biker on past me to show me who He was, and that He was in control. As the day went on, I started to doubt what had happened, chalking it up to good ‘ol coincidence. I hadn’t shared it with anyone, I didn’t want to look like a *gasp* Jesus Freak. On the way home that night I challenged God. “If that Christian biker was from you, then prove it.” Must I even finish the story? A few minutes past and I see a biker approaching from way far away in my side mirror. He gets closer, and I see it’s not the same bike and I laughed thinking I almost fell for it. My laugh was silenced and my jaw dropped when he got past me. Another Christian biker God sent rumbling by me to prove His point. Four years I had been doing this commute, and never had I notice a Christian MC patch, nor did I see another one for a long long time after.
So now when God chooses to open my eyes through situations He orchestrates, or bless me with a reminder of who He is, I listen. I find such joy in receiving even the smallest touches from Him, gentle nudges to keep me awake in the spiritual world, and am still very amused by Gods sense of humor.
A month ago I started in Ezekiel. God gave me some awesome nuggets and revelations in the first few chapters. Ezeks visions of the Holiness of God - being given the scroll to eat and the commission to preach a hard and condemning word to an unruly people - false prophets being equated to flimsy whitewashed walls that crumb with a storm. I veered off to Nehemiah for a bit, dabbled in the Gosples, swam around in Acts, sang in the Psalms, dove into James on Sunday mornings and found myself over the last few days with absolutely no direction in the Word of God. I find this so frustrating and confusing because His Word comes ALIVE for me, the letters and words sometimes dance off the page, and into my soul, feeding it. I can spend hours or days on a single scripture, chewing and digesting it, journaling and praying it, each time reading it and finding something new. So when I “can’t find a thing to read” in the Bible, I’m lost.
Last night I sat with my Bible on my lap, praying for guidance and God to show me where he wants me in the Word. Today I gave this to a friend as a prayer request. Out school shopping with my kids today, I confided in them that I was needing direction from God on what to read in the Bible. Inside the store, I pick a shirt off the rack and look at the tag. It said one thing. “ezekiel”. I just about cried and praised God for hearing my plea, recognizing my feeling of being lost in scripture and answering my prayer so very quickly.
I am giddy with excitement and anticipation on how my loving Father is going to grow me through this book of Ezekiel. I’m almost afraid to start it again, knowing that I will be wearing Ezeks shoes and walking his steps and I fear I will not be able to handle the Glory of the Lord revealed to me.
It is written in Eze 1:1 “…the heavens were opened and I saw visions of God.”
Father God, open the heavens through your precious Word and reveal to me your Glory. Let every word of these scriptures bury themselves into my heart and teach me how You want me to use them to glorify YOU. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.
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