Alter Junkie

Still no idea why the wheels are not attached to the four living creatures. What is purpose of having the spirit not physically connected to the being? Sigh. IDK. But I do know that the rims were full of eyes, seeing in every direction. There is not a crack or crevice, shadow or hidden place that God's eyes do not see. Including my heart. "Search me, Oh God, and know my heart; see if there is any offensive way in me". He knows better than I. Word.

Ezekiel 2 - His calling

Ezek fell face down when he heard the voice of the Lord speaking to him. How could he not - after witnessing the scene of the four living creatures bringing in this great expanse and man who glowed like metal and fire with brilliant light all around him. It was the Lord God Almighty in his midst, speaking to HIM! How small and insignificant he must have felt. How dirty he must have felt in the presence of God's radiance. It took the Spirit entering him to raise him from his humbled state.

"This was the appearance of the likeness of the glory of the Lord. When I saw it, I fell facedown and I heard the voice of the one speaking. 'Son of man, stand up on our feet and I will speak to you.' As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet" Ez 1:28-2:2

I have been in worship before - in spirit and truth - and have had a pull to the alter so intense that it felt like my knees were going to buckle and I would have to crawl to it. Sometimes all I can do is slide off my seat to the floor to go to Him. That feeling of realizing his Holy presence is HERE, NOW and needing to confess and be cleansed is overwhelming. Scary, beautiful, powerful, physical, emotional and spiritual cleansing takes place in my soul when I get to that secret place with him. Do you know what my Jesus does while I'm breaking at the alter? Quietly and peacefully sits across from me at the alter, receiving my confession, catching everyone of my tears and gently forgiving me along the way. He never condemns me, says "I told you so" or tells me I'm a broken record. He nudges me and encourages me on when I'm stubbornly holding onto something that needs to be layed at his feet. He holds me and his robes wrap around me. I've felt them against my skin - it's the reward of being sweetly broken.

It's only after allowing him to do His work in me am I able to stand.

Thank you, Jesus, for raising me to my feet. Again and again.